A retired policeman tried to escape a speeding charge by blaming a sneezing fit (Mirror).
Donald Johnstone said his wrist accidentally jerked the throttle and accelerated his powerful motorbike to 40mph in a 30mph zone.
But his feeble excuse failed to win over magistrates who told him he could not wriggle out of his punishment.
Johnstone denied speeding and said his 1000cc Honda was doing 30mph before his fit in Toftwood, Norfolk, last May. He argued: "My sneezes tend to be extremely violent and I accept that my speed must have increased because of the movement of my hands."
Magistrate Margaret Oechsle said: "You accept your speed increased and with any speed over 31mph our sentencing guidelines come into play."
Click here to read the full Mirror news report.